Jan 16. 1:00pm. We have around 300 or so miles to reach LaPaz tomorrow at 7am. Cool today. 72deg. And 61%Hum. People are bundled up. No boobies around the pool today. They tell us we may see whales in the next few days. The Sea of Cortez is where they have their babies before going back to Alaska for the summer months. “Whale” see. I don’t know about anyone else, but I’ve seen quite a few “whales” around the ship already, just lounging around the pool with the “boobies!!!” I’m so bad! BULLETIN: I lost a pound last week. I have begun my new book, ”Lose Weight-Eat Like a Pig!!!”
We have been at sea for 14 days and Ellen has only had to have four “John, we have to talk” talks with me. I think that’s pretty good, don’t you think? Ellen says “ John, if you continue to mention boobies, we are going to have our FIFTH talk”. Ok, El, I won’t “breast” the subject again.
3:00. Just came back from watching a “Simon says” game at the pool. Simon was one of the ship’s male dancers. Young and macho. Apparently, he couldn’t see that these 15 contestants already had one foot in the grave! Those poor old people CANNOT do jumping jacks or sit ups. Nor can they hear very well. On the first series of commands, every player fouled out. After much heated arguing and angry yells, Dance Boy let them back in. Since most of them couldn’t hear, Dance Boy decided to use a hand mic which defeats the purpose when he says “Simon says put your two hands in the air” and he only puts one up. Right and left seems to be a major roadblock for these people. Seniors in wheelchairs or using walkers should NOT attempt to play Simon. I found out through careful observation that older people cannot hold their right leg in the air without falling over. Some can’t even lift the leg up to begin with. Also, when Simon says “touch the ground with your left hand”, the ground is way, way too far away to touch. Some of the larger players can’t even see the ground! Many can’t touch their BELTS let alone the ground. In addition to all of these problems, of which Dance Boy seemed to be oblivious, the players not only cheat but argue vehemently when caught to the delight of all the boob… (oops) ladies watching. I failed to mention that the prize was a water bottle so you can see why winning was sooo important. The PRESSURE. WOW!! That’s it for now. The SENIOR Simon has to go and do the shower curtain thing.
Jan 17. 1:45. La Paz (meaning “the peace”) is a beautiful, very clean, modern resort city. This is a desert climate. Lots and lots of cacti, rocks, and dirt but the city is like an oasis. We bus toured the downtown area. It sits right on the Sea of Cortez. Beautiful aqua-green water and tons of shops and restaurants. We did see several AK47s but seems very safe. We visited the main cathedral, a rug weaving shop, a pottery shop, and walked along the malecon (boardwalk). One funny thing happened. I used the toilet in the weaving place and was the last one to use it. Everyone else was on the bus waiting for El and me. When I came out of the bathroom, El was looking rather strange. Stranger then she usually looks. We get on the bus( our seats were way in the back, of course), we sit down, and El whispers (through almost uncontrollable laughing/crying) “you have two BIG pee spots on your pants”!! She is now in complete hysterics with tears flowing. Now I knew why people on the bus were snickering. Meanwhile, I begin blowing downward and fanning my crotch with my hand to attempt to dry myself because we are soon getting off the bus to walk on the crowded malecon. We are both out of control. I pulled my shirt down and we got off the bus. I don’t know how these things happen to me. Over and out for now.
Jan 18. 9:30am. At sea. Sunny but cold. 62deg. People bundled up outside. No whales in sight. I’m still coughing a little bit. El’s back gets quite sore every day. Heating pad and rest in the afternoons. Our evening dining table friends (we eat at Table #10 every night with the same group of six) are terrific. Lots of laughs. Very compatible. We did “Johnny, Johnny, whoops, Johnny” and “There’s a man in the moon” at dinner last night. Tables around us thought us a bit strange. “Chinese numbers” tonight. I forgot to mention that our table participated in a silly, adult type, risqué game show (not at dinner, but later in the evening) a couple of nights ago and won first place. Of course! Nobody’s dirty like us!!! We won a bottle of champagne that we shared at dinner last night. The photos today show my dwarf size shower; El in the hot tub; and the Mexican Brunch dessert table last Sunday.
Signing off, Captain Kangaroo